


There's Only So Many Words A Dead Man Can Say

by Oblivion_Wanderer



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Angst, Other, in which marius doesn't know if lyf is alive or dead and regrets, it's a sad one folks, post-TBI
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:29:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28846836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oblivion_Wanderer/pseuds/Oblivion_Wanderer
Summary: Marius knew he had to leave Lyf behind. They're mortal anyway, so it shouldn't matter. | Marius regrets not going back for Lyf because he knows he could have saved them.
Relationships: (onesided), Lyfrassir Edda/Marius von Raum
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	There's Only So Many Words A Dead Man Can Say

**Author's Note:**

> Title from St. Eriksplan, by Low Roar.
> 
> Look, this came about because I was playing Death Stranding, and I heard this song playing at one point (because there's a lot of music by Low Roar in that game) and I looked into this particular song and got it stuck in my head and I started having thoughts. So, in short, blame Death Stranding.
> 
> This fic can technically be seen as a prelude to Rainbows in my Veins, Music in my Memory... but it can also work as a stand alone fic.

In short, Lyfrassir Edda fucking blindsided him.

Marius was only in the prison with Raphaella and Ivy because he had nothing better to be doing while they waited for the train. He’d seen plenty from this world and he knew it was doomed; it would all start to crumble when the train reappeared. At least he could bother some stupid cops while he was at it too.

But then Lyf was sent to them, and…

Marius had been content with antagonizing them with some teasing and violin playing. Maybe a bit of flirting with them too because, admittedly, they were cute; downright handsome actually. But overtime something changed, and suddenly they meant a great deal to Marius. In the grand scheme of things, and with an impending apocalypse, this was, of course, not the smartest move. He did enjoy Lyf’s company all the same.

But of course, the train showed up and time ran out. Lyf walked into the cell with the Black Box in hand.

So, now here Marius is; far, far away from the Yggdrasil system and whatever madness it was that consumed it. Also so very far away from Lyf, who had likely been caught up in the Bifrost as it bled into Midgard. He sits by the window of his room, looking at the stars and endless void. His mind is elsewhere, however; wondering about a certain someone. Of Lyf.

It’s been a few days since leaving Yggdrasil, and Lyf in the process. The whole star system’s likely been consumed by the Bifrost at this point. It had already begun by the time he left Midgard with the others. Marius had known it was going to happen eventually…

...just like he knew he’d have to leave Lyf behind.

He knew this. He’d known it for the entirely of his… relationship? Could it be called that? Or something like that? In any case, he’s known in the end he would have to leave Lyf behind. Now, this shouldn’t have been a problem, it shouldn’t have mattered, because Lyf was mortal and the end of their world was on the horizon. It was pointless to worry over a single mortal who was a blip in the centuries that he had been alive.

And yet, thinking of them now makes Marius’s heart heavy with some kind of emotion he can’t quite place. Worry? Loss? Like something’s missing? He feels something, that’s for sure.

Guilt maybe, because he did leave them there to die.

The memory of Lyf has followed Marius into his dreams too. He dreamed of them shortly after getting the hell away from the Yggdrasil system. He can still recall the sight of them in the dream.

He had seen them surrounded by color, light flickering across their face like fire. They looked tired; tired and broken. Tears were streaming down their face, though they made no sound. They did speak though, and when they spoke there was static in their voice.

“You knew.” They had said. “You knew and you left. You left me. You left me to die. Why did you leave me, Marius? Why didn’t you save me?”

And in the dream, he had tried to reach out to them, to tell them he was sorry. He wanted to wipe away their tears and take them into his arms and tell them everything was okay because he was there. But in the moment his fingers made contact with their form, they had dissolved into embers and stardust, static rising to a crescendo. Marius woke calling out Lyf’s name, only to find himself alone. He didn’t really get much sleep afterward, and he hasn’t been sleeping well since.

How could he when he left Lyf to burn with the rest of Yggdrasil?

That’s mostly what bothers him about the whole thing now; this regret, this guilt. Something else too; the fact that Lyf was someone he actually cared about and he wrote them off as a lost cause.

During his time on Midgard, his time with Lyf, they hadn’t opened up a whole lot, but he had gotten to see glimpses of Lyf past the demeanor they put on as an inspector. He’d gotten to know them, and he had grown attached to them in response. He’d gotten attached to a mortal like a damn fool. All it took was this one person to render him into such a state.

It doesn’t erase the regret Marius feels though, because there had been a part of him that wanted to take Lyf with him. Raphaella and Ivy had been clear that they were short on time, however, and he had told himself not to bother because there was no point in it. Why save a mortal destined to die now or later on? The moment he set foot on the Aurora though, knowing who he was leaving behind, he felt like he’d made a mistake. He _knew_ he made a mistake.

He _wanted_ Lyf here.

He wanted them here to hold, to share a laugh with. Maybe they’d play music, or maybe they’d just talk. He would very much like to braid their hair, or hold their head in hands so he could study every detail of their face. He wants to kiss them till they’re breathless, like he’s wanted for so long. Or maybe just tenderly enough that it gives way to falling asleep in each other’s arms.

Marius sighs, thinking back over the years when he had Lyf. He’s thought about them a lot, fantasized about them at times. He’s thought about everything they are.

He wonders if Lyf managed to get out of Yggdrasil in time, or if they died with the rest of the star system. Ivy said there was a chance, and this was further supported by the last note Lyf left in their recordings. Marius, hopeful idiot he was, wanted to believe that Lyf had made it out; that they were out there somewhere. He hopes they’re alive and safe.

And if they are out there somewhere, Marius wonders what Lyf is up to; how they are and what they’re doing. He wonders if they still have the little choker necklace with the moons he left them once (they weren’t having a good day and broke out of his cell to get them something nice). He wonders if they’re getting enough sleep, or just taking care of themself in general .

He wonders if they remember him, think about him.

If they’re still out there, though, is there the chance that he could see them again? Ah… even if he did somehow cross paths with Lyf again, if they’re still alive, what would he even say to them? He wasn’t sure. There’s too much on this mind and he doesn’t know how to sort it, but even then it feels like it wouldn’t be enough. Not enough for Lyf or himself.

But even so, he supposes seeing them just once more would be okay. Even if it’s just enough time to tell them he’s glad to see them alive.

Yeah…

For now, he can believe that perhaps they’re out in space somewhere; sailing on to somewhere new. He’ll believe it until he’s proven otherwise or decides not to live in that lie anymore. And if they are dead, well… Lyf’s already been immortalized in the new story the band is planning, so in a way they still live on, and Marius, through his memory of them, can carry a piece of them.

The ghost of them will stay with Marius until his mechanism breaks and he dies for the last time.

That’s good enough.

* * *

Sometime later, when a week has passed, Brian picks up on a vessel floating out in the middle of space and tags it for salvage.

Marius joins his fellow crewmates for said salvage.

The ship is of Midgardian design, though he does not know that yet...


End file.
